My fear….

Sam –

The whole day I’ve been crying,

The pain in my heart won’t stop devouring.

So insecure feel,

Of what little is left of my life without a protective shield.

Thoughts and pictures just keep flashing in my mind,

Like someone is playing a movie of my life from behind.

I keep diverting my mind to you,

But nothing changed , it’s like a nightmare come true.

Thinking about you always makes me smile,

But today that did not happen , even if i walk a mile.

There is so much fear in my heart,

My head is spinning and my dizziness starts.

But now my hands are feeling heavy,

As if your sitting beside me and hugging my body.

I’m feeling so scared,

The pain i’m not able to bear.

I am not the girl who i was,

I’ve given up trying to fight for my own cause.

I’ve lost all strength and courage,

I don’t if any girl has suffered so much at this young age.

The whole day I’ve been crying,

The pain in my heart won’t stop devouring!!!! 😦

      – Harshi

P.S : Please check this out. This post is dedicated to the same person for whom I’ve written this poem to.

 http://dancingfreak.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/ever-since-i-met-sami/

INSECURITY :( [Thursday poetry rally week 30]

 

 

Everyday in some part of our lives,

Insecurity is faced day and night.

A boy giving the eye arouses insecurity,

We hurry away without any delay.

A crowded bus arouses insecurity,

By a stranger’s touch or a sudden hiss.

A few accidents arouses insecurity,

Our confidence we doubt for our chances of safety.

A step into a new place arouses insecurity,

Flashing random thoughts thro’ your mind.

Many people into your relationship arouses insecurity,

Breaking the trust and faith of your life partner to be.

Your first step outside home arouses insecurity,

Of what new experiences the world might bring.

There’s so much insecurity spread around us,

To overcome it will be a lot of fuss.

Insecurity in our lives is such a miserable mess,

It takes a long time to go no matter how hard the “MOVE ON” button we press.

……….

I feel the weight of your hands on mine.

I feel your lips like it’s right on mine.

I can see your eyes just boring into mine.

I can feel you hug like your right beside.

i can see your lips  just smiling at me.

I can feel your love flowing towards me.’

But why is this happening i thought we were friends?

You just had a break up and i’m not able to meet both ends.

I saw it in your eyes you still love her so much

But what made you do all that? was it my b’day present?

Your guilt is just  too much bear.

I cannot see you sad and i’m going into the depths of despair.

To me what you did doesn’t feel wrong.

You just had a break up  so why prolong?

But you love her so much i can see it in your eyes,

But i love you so much that  i cannot voice.

So i made a choice and this is it..

I’ll never see you or hear your voice.

I’ll never pick your calls or text you back.

This is stabbing my heart but i’m not bleeding.

Instead my gush of tears is just flowing.

I know no other and this choice feels right,

To keep you safe from spoiling your life.

I’m not a good person you should know…

I can never be yours though i want to so.

Insanity…

I’m going crazy with the passing days,

I’ve sunk into the depths of insanity.

My heart is burning like fire, making me writhe with pain,

A flame of anger is growing in my body,

It’s making me lost my head!

I’m on the verge of destroying my surroundings, including myself…

I’m ready to smash things to pieces,

Just ready to start a fire.

I want to see the destruction with my eyes…

See everything going to ashes!

I want to laugh without a reason,

I want to tear my books apart.

Worst of all i want to people to be away from me,

Before i start ripping them apart!

I just want some peace of mind,

Some isolation in an isolated place.

I want to stop the burning in my eyes,

And throw away these insane thoughts!

But every second my insanity grows,

Soon I’ll be myself no more.

I have to get away as quickly as possible,

I’m losing control of mysel.

Insanity is breaking through the barriers of my mind,

And insanity is taking its place!

HEAVEN N HELL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! : (

A place of wonder,

A place of grief,

Where float angels and demons.

Flowers n flames surrounding em,

In a place they call HEAVEN n HELL.

Heaven is like sweet surprise

While, OH! Hell is where torture rise

Heaven blooms with happiness n wise,

While hell craves for revenge n cries.

A lovely place, many say,

With faces beaming day and day

I’m dying of misery, many cry

With dark faces and tear soaked eyes.

Angels gaze at heavens door,

The evil sneer of demons that stroll.

Darkness fails to conquer heaven

While light captures hell

Happiness starts from heavens door

While hell is filled with grief n more

U cannot escape the misery in hell,

While heaven is a place free from spell.

FREEDOM IN PRISON

A crime she did, to pay one back

Who made her suffer years long back.

She was punished and accused all round,

With no true witness even now.

To her surprise, she found her life,

Blossoming well, full of pride.

She felt at home, and thought alone

‘ I’ve found my freedom in gaol.